I think the title explains itself.
Getting right into the Cosplay news, I have decided to compete. For the FIRST TIME. I guess you can say I AM EXTREMELY EXCITED, and extremelynervouswhatamIdoingtypething!
I've decided to do my favourite CLAMP manga, or atleast it helped me when I was depressed, Clover. I'll be doing Suu in a very beautiful dress with a corset, and big amazing wings. I'm kind of worried that it might look strange because I don't think I am a great sewer, I've hardly completed anything in the past year. I guess I'd have to say I've only finished one cosplay this past year, and that was for this year's Tsukino Con.
Keep in mind, *I* finished it. I made it all by myself. No help. I've had a lot of help with many of my cosplays. I have about 4 cosplays that I've started, and haven't finished because people don't want to cosplay it anymore. My cosplay group is funny like that.
ANY WAY. I am hoping to work hard at my cosplay for Cos & Effect, but again, I am pretty nervous.. What if I don't finish? What if the corset gets messed up some how? What if I fall off the stage? What if I stutter too much when talking to the judges? What if I can't get the right words out? What if the wings can't be held up properly?
People are backing me up, and while that is pretty darn comforting, I'm pretty petrified still. I'm really trying to over come my fears and push myself to get it done.
For people who don't know why I would stutter, or fall off the stage, I have a disability, CP. I get all shaky and it just intensifies when I am nervous. I don't know if I can walk sturdily down the cat walk, and keep still enough to pose. Also my speech probably goes out the window. Trying to think of what to say.
BUT it is a goal. Until August when I compete, I will have this goal. Something to strive for, even though my nerves are going to rip me apart. I think it will show the world that I can do something. That I'm not wasting my time.
If I go through this with even an honourable mention, I think it will get me out of my rut, and be more confident. If anyone has known me, they'd know I'm not very confident. If I complete this, there will be no stopping me. I just have to get over some bumps in the road. Like learning how to bone things.
It has definitely been hard being a cosplayer, and not being asked to cosplay with many people because they think I can't do it. I just really need more advance notice. NOT a week before a convention. I always get super jealous when I hear other people are invited to cosplay groups. Just cause I've always had to ask, or people have felt sorry for me and asked.
Thus the decision to devote myself to Suu this year. Maybe others will see that I am capable and they'll be excited to cosplay with me!
I know people who don't think I can do anything right. They won't admit it, but I still haven't gotten asked to help anyone with anything. Okay. Once I did, and it was pretty amazing! I just wish I was seen as someone who is as reliable as I think I am! <3
Anyway! I have that off my chest. I think I definitely feel better now.. Actually.. that is a lie. I am slightly better. Still nervous! Ah!
Oh~ and I might be posting some more. I'm not sure what yet, but I did get a new camera!
Listening to: Let's Be Bad - SMASH
Drinking: Iced Tea